Nuggets for My children :: Jas Jagpal :: Toronto, Canada

KJ and Amar... I know I don't thank you guys enough for all the help you give me and mom.  We need you to pitch in and help us and today I'm grateful that both of you went out and shoveled the snow.

When I saw you two out there it reminded me of when I was young with my brothers and sister.  As you already know - I didn't grow up with a lot of money-  but I don't think I've told you that when we were young, to make money, we'd knock on people's doors and ask if they'd like their sidewalks shoveled.  In the old city of Toronto... there weren't driveways for most home.. just sidewalks.  That was one way we used to hussle to make money so we could buy candies that you take for granted.

Just wanted to say Thank you for vacuuming, helping in the kitchen and helping us when we ask.

Your #1 Cheerleader,
Daddy Ji!

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My children... it's a day after Christmas, my 40th year of life and as I was meditating this morning and saying my prayers I came to a fundamental realization- all thanks to you!

What do you give someone who has everything?  

Yesterday at Christmas, your gifts - the words on Amar's Coffee Cup and Kiranjot's plaque said it all.  The words on the plaque inspired me to the Truth.

What do you give someone who has everything?  LOVE.  

A father can never have enough of a child's love.  We can all go to the store and buy any material thing we desire from the store, but no one can buy genuine love and affection.  No one can buy real friendship, caring and beauty.

Imagine having a dozen shoes, pieces of jewelry, perfumes, jeans, etc, do you need really need another one?  

Sooner or later, at one time in our life we will all say a prayer. If not always we are seeking help from God either for ourselves or for someone we care about.  As children we'll often start bargaining.  God "if you do this for me, I will give this much to charity" or "if you do this for me, I will get baptized" or "if you do this for me, I will stop drinking", etc.

Amar, Kiranjot, you've shown me, that there is only one bargain to be made with God.

As you know, God is considered our father, mother, brother, sister, friend.  He has everything he needs.  So then what can we give?  Our Love and sincerest devotion.  

We can only do this if we live a righteous life and accept his teachings.

If you were a Christian you'd follow the basics of the 10 commandments.  For Sikhs it is further simplified to: 1. Meditate on the Name  2. Earn your money through honest means  3. Share your earnings with society. 

If you do that, you will automatically have love and compassion in your heart and will find it very easy to love God and his creation.

So Amar, Kiranjot - I want to thank you for your gifts this Christmas.  Though I've known the phrase for most of my life: "Jin Prem Keyo Tin He Prabh Paaio" (Loosely translated as: The one who loves, finds God).   At 40, you've made it crystal clear in mind, the Secret that God hears my daily prayers of love.  

As I was so happy with your simple gift of love and as a "man" held in my tears.  I know my Father of the universe, all giving, all merciful, creator, feels the candle burning in my heart and will continuously gift me his blessings in his eternal glory and grace.

Thank you my children.

Your Dad. 

Just the fact that the breath of life flows through our veins is awesome in itself.

Imagine a universe of thought, imagination, feeling expanding within us.

Imagine trillions of cells, somehow working together, to keep us alive.

Now that is just our biology...

True Awesomeness is our Humanity!

Who do we remember of the 100s of Billions of people have lived and died on this tiny planet Earth?

Our history books tell tales of people in power, great riches and wealth... yet how many of us know or honour them?

All over the world people of different cultures, religions and races remember those who gave of themselves.  Who fought injustice.  Spoke the truth.  Helped the Poor.  Sacrificed their lives when need be.

Millions remember and honour the life of Martin Luther King and Mother Teresa.  Will millions remember Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, brightest minds of today, in 50 years after their death? 

Millions remember the prophets of all religions...  thousands celebrate the anniversary of saintly people in prayer...  will their be prayer vigils for Jack Layton, a dynamic personality and a great politician every year?  I'm not sure... we'll see.

My kids... we are all awesome from birth. 

Remember these 5 lessons.  Hopefully they will make you truly awesome in the hearts of many and let you live a life of inner tranquility and peace.

1.  Remember you are just one of trillions of living beings.  Never let your intelligence, wealth or public standing (Pride & Ego) ever make you think less of any person.  We are all God's creatures.  In an instant we can get Cancer, Car Accident, etc. and our lives can be turned upside down. 

2.  Never steal, cheat or deceive a person's trust!

3.  Never lie.  Truth may be a difficult pill to swallow.  If you can't speak the truth for whatever reason.  It's better to say nothing, than tell lies.

4.  Never be jealous of another person's wealth, standing, beauty, intelligence, athleticism, material things, etc.  The sooner you learn this, the happier & content you'll be.  Instead applaud their success.

5.  Always be THANKFUL to GOD for EVERYTHING you have!  AND give of your time and money to those who are in need... but NEVER feel like YOU are GIVING and be ATTACHED to the outcome! (that is the secret of giving)

KJ, AJ, BJ... the sooner you learn these lessons... the happier and content your life will be.

God Bless you my children.

Daddy Ji.

My daughter is growing up fast and in the next two years will be going through a critical phase of her life.  Yes Grade 7 and 8 - brand new school- french - far from her current friends, riding the bus on her own - Kumon - Tae Kwon Do - let's not forget body changes.

I can't imagine this 2 month - premature baby, barely larger than a rat is now taller than her own mom!

KJ... 10 things I like about you in random order as it crosses my mind!

1.  You are emotional
2.  You are brave
3.  You are determined
4.  You dream big!
5.  You are confident and ready to make a difference!
6.  You are smart
7.  You are respectful.
8.  You care!
9.  You are up for a challenge
10.  You are a winner!

KJ... I know you'll adjust well during this trying time... but remember, mom and dad are always here - to love you, to care for you, to answer any question and guide you to challenge yourself to always be your best! 

Daddy Ji.

Kj, AJ, I received this blessing in an e-mail.  I usually don't forward these but this one echoed much of what I think... so here goes...  Always be Thankful, Be Grateful for what life gives you...Please read.

Your #1 Cheer-Leader

Dada

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. 

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. 

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive 
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - 
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - 
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER. 

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

And before you think of signing out, Please think of sending this to someone else. 

My kids, there is no magic pill to getting good grades at school.  Some subjects are easier than others but Math is a subject that you must do the exercises, to get good at.  This is true with anything in life you want to get good at.  You must "do it/ practice it" to get good at it.  Be it sports, dance, music, etc.

KJ, do you know what you "think you can do", is true?

So if you believe you are "not good / bad" at math... then you are. 
If you believe you can't become a doctor, you can't.
If you believe you can't play sports, you can't.

Sure for some kids Math comes "easier" than for others.  Some are more gifted in sports than others.  But never believe you are "no good" at Math or anything else, because you'll have bought into the biggest lie kids learn in life.  I won't accept that!

Our minds are capable of far more than we can imagine.  KJ, you tell me about the "Secret".  You tell me that "what ever I put my attention to it will happen".  There is a another quote, by Napolian Hill, "if you can conceive it, believe it,  you can achieve it".  Basically this means that if you can see yourself doing that which you would like to create in your life; visualize it, feel it and believe it- then it will happen.

At eleven, you are far smarter than I was at your age.  You are an avid reader and I love your determination and persistence.  But I want you to remember the Greatest Secret.  You gotta BELIEVE in YOURSELF!

You will never hear you Dad say that he can't do this or that.  You'll never hear him asking "what do you think?"  If I want to, I can be a CEO, Politician, Lawyer, Judge, Doctor, whatever I want to put my thoughts to... even at 40 I can educate myself to do any of these. 

So KJ there is no secret to getting good grades in math- just put the same effort that you give to other activities you "like" and you'll see the As you get, coming back.

Your #1 Cheer leader,
Dada

Kids... it'll be difficult to stop you from achieving what you want in life if you persist and stay determined.  It is those people who give up easily or don't try at all that usually are complaining the most about life when they get older.  Sure things don't always work out the way we "want".  But that doesn't mean we stop trying and finding better and creative solutions.

Amar, I liked that even after I said NO to you last night- that you couldn't take the "expensive" badminton racket to school- you asked me again this morning and gave me a reason to why it was important to you.  You see, you never know, when someone can have a change of heart.  Sure the racket costed $60-  I'll be disappointed if you break it-  which I know you won't!  But more importantly if you feel strongly that using this racket will help you play better and make the "team", I'll support you.

Now it is up to you to show me that you are responsible enough to care of the racket and further earn my trust.

Your biggest cheerleader,

Daddy Ji.

We all seem to want money... more money, more material things... but really we should be wanting is a healthy life.  Kids, your health should be your #1 priority.  How you treat your body will determine how much you’ll be able to enjoy the money that you make in life.

Look what happens to your body when you eat a lot of fast foods or over eat for the sake of eating.  You get skin rashes, stuffy noses, upset stomachs and sometimes get real sick.  This is happening to you now, while you are still young.  Imagine how it effects people who eat like this all the time.  No fresh fruits and vegetables.  Just frozen dinners, canned goods and preserved foods.  It is no accident that so many are affected by diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, obesity, etc. in society.

My chidren, treat your body like a “temple”.  Respect it.  Love it.  Take care of it.  No amount of money is worth having bad health and not being able to enjoy it.  By doing that you are being responsbile for your life and won't feel like a victim to disease.  You'll live a happier and healthier life.  The choices you make today will effect you as adults.  I know it is difficult.  But the value of learning discipline now, will help you in all matters of life as an adult and help you become successful.  I guarantee you that.

So next time you consider eating foods that make you sick... try not to.

Your biggest cheerleader,

Daddy Ji

My children, what is truthful living? 

Is it being honest, telling the truth?  Is it not causing harm to another person?  Is it fighting for human rights?  It is helping the poor by feeding, educating and clothing them?  Is it being a good person?  Is it being religious?  Is it working hard and supporting your family?

All of these definitely help society and make you a great role model for your kids.  But is this enough to be living a truthful life?

I don't claim to have the answers- I'm no guru or philosopher... but my gut tells me that this is just half of the equation. 

So what do I think is missing in our lives?  I think we have to spend time pondering the answers to difficult questions like...

Who am I? 
What am I doing with my life? 
The road I'm travelling on where does it lead?
What is life? 
How does life work? 
What is the soul? 
What is the mind? 
What is my calling? 
What am I doing with my life now? 
What is money? 
My mind is always thinking about it... (lack of or how to spend it) What truly is money's purpose in my life? 

What happens when I die? 
Is there more to life than the body? 
What is my real purpose in life?

If these questions have never crossed your mind... then they ought to and many more like that.  I know we are so busy in our money-problems, daily-work, family, and just routine day-to-day chores that we don't give much thought to "how we are living our life". 

Truthful living, I venture to say is:  "Living in awareness, giving and love".   How difficult is that?  EXTREMELY!

We can start with looking at the mirror and seeing that our physical body is an outward manifestation of our mental health, but not indicative of our truthful self.  If you don't like what you see, you need to change what you think.

We need to become aware of our mind-chatter and listen/ watch carefully to the film looping endlessly.  I'll tell you straight up... most people won't like this!  You must become aware, understand what's going on, before you can play a different move and change your life. 

 We need to accept, not fear our mortality.  My children, everything born must die.  I too will pass away one day.  So life is precious.  Learn to live in awareness and love- and get rid of any hate, fear, jealousy, anger, envy, attachment from your heart. 



Never fear asking the hard questions in life.  The quest for Truthful living starts within our hearts.

Your #1 cheerleader, and hopefully as you grow older, I will read your version of Truthful living.

Daddy Ji

Picture found at: www.flickr.com/photos/ parvindersingh/2488639815/

Wow... why is it when I look at you Balraaj, I feel like munching down on you and holding you tight in my arms.  Yes you are the youngest (4) and your siblings are much older... but what do you do that they aren't doing?  After thinking about it what you do that they aren't doing as much is "smiling all the time"! 

You have a way to smile at just everything... or giggle about anything... and say the darndest things.  Your eyes light up like a small, cuddly, energetic little monkey!  No wonder you seem to garnish the affection of all!

So now that I know what you do... I gotta learn from you and darn it... smile more often!  All of us got to. You too KJ and AJ!  As adults we have tons of reponsibilities and we get overwhelmed by our work but you have no excuse.   I guess the first thing that unfortunately gets lost as we grow older is the kid in us that makes us happy and the people around us like.  We gotta find away to capture him/her and LAUGH more!  Even if its just crazy laughter and being silly!

I remember as a teenager walking home from school and just giggling and not being able to stop myself!  Those thoughs were powerful enough to create a physical reaction in my body that elated me.  It was wonderful.

We've all heard of the benefits of "smiling"... now imagine the benefits of "really laughing"!  I guess in this fast paced society we have to "consciously" learn to smile and make the time to laugh.

So lets get started my children!  Just writing this has put a smile on my face!  And if you can't laugh, just think of something goofy you've done as a kid and you'll notice it willl bring a smile to your face.  So get rid of the weight of the world that we carry in our heads and smile today. 

To smiles and laughter,
Daddy Ji